Single at the holidays - it's not so bad
As if going to weddings single isn't bad enough, the holidays can be real pressure cookers for unattached folks. Relatives wanting to know when you'll bring a significant other to the festivities - not to mention a passel of progeny. No one special to buy for - or receive from. No one to smooch under the mistletoe.
But the holidays can be bearable, even enjoyable, for singles, says Jeffrey Ullman founder of Greater Expectations dating service.
His five solutions:
- Get out. Go to those holiday parties. You never know who you'll meet. Check out singles events, the local coffeehouse. Active, positive folks attract people, he notes. Mopes don't.
- Join a not-for-profit or social organization. You'll be giving and getting at the same time.
- Say hi. Not making eye contact is the number one reason people don't get asked out. Set out to meet one new person a day (at the mall, the Laundromat, etc.).
- Make a change. Pamper yourself once in a while: attend a self-help seminar, get a makeover, buy a new outfit. Your self-confidence will theoretically improve and people will theoretically find you radiant.
- Be spontaneous. Break those habits. Take a cruise, join a gym, sign up for a walk to raise money for the homeless.
And tell Aunt Martha to take a hike.
Computer love - isn't it romantic?
If actually getting out doesn't do the trick, why not get into your PC? For some romantic advice and the like, check out the Incurable Romantix Magazine's Love and Romance Master Page (at http://www.autonomy.com).
Check out advice from "Miss Lonelyhearts," the Love Surfers Forum - currently cute kids' quotes about amour - poetry and letters and a forum for married folks.
As with many Web sites, there's lots of pointless babbling (Lemuel Cohen talking about his cousin, Sherri, and her too-high expectations), but hey, it wouldn't be the Internet without it, would it?
Date a coworker? Why the heck not?
You're tired of looking for love at the grocery store and coffee shop. And bars? Come on.
How about the office? Not a bad bet, but before you take the leap, there are some considerations, notes Glamour.
For starters, you should be confident that this one could work out. Flings and short-term affairs are not good ideas. Keep work and personal life separate - no arguing over the water cooler about who did the dishes last night. And be prepared for an uncomfortable period at work after the breakup.
If you break up.
Another shirt and tie? Please, no!
My gosh, it couldn't be December already, could it? And you, without a great gift idea for your guy.
Haya Gil Lubin to the rescue. She's the author of "Show Him Your Love: More than 101 Gift Ideas for the Man in Your Life."
How about renting him the car of his dreams for a day or two? A 'vette, perhaps, or at least a convertible?
How about Playboy underwear and satin sheets? Perhaps a new business card you've designed for him, or a bath towel version of it?
Or try your own version of the 12 Days of Christmas. Start with one gift of your choice and end with 12 pairs of socks. After all that, however, we're guessing the socks would be sort of a comedown.
- Cheryl terHorst
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